I call her.
We fight as I try to pay for the groceries. I have to balance the phone in one hand, and my credit card in the other. I smile at the cashier apologetically as she screams through the cell.
“You’re never around anymore!” she accuses me.
As usual, I don’t know what to say. I just finished a ten-hour shift, and I’m tired. My eyes are sunken from lack of sleep, and I can’t remember the last time I sat down to relax.
“I’m sorry,” is all I can think to say.
“Sorry doesn’t help. I want to see you, now,” she says, her voice hissing in my ear.
I miss her, but it’s just after six and I need to get home.
“I can’t right now. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Don’t bother,” she says, her voice exasperated as she ends the phone call.
So happy and proud to have this fiction piece published! I wrote it a few years ago, in response to losing a real-life loved one from suicide. The story is fictionalized, but it was my attempt to rationalize the lack of answers. While I do not have answers to this day, the piece does bring me some comfort.