Riverdale Season 2 Is An Unsalvageable Disaster

I’ve been watching CW shows for years. Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, 90210, The 100, the failed (sadly) reboot of Melrose Place. Supernatural before it became… a trainwreck. Arrow, Supergirl. You get the picture. The point is, since I was a teenager (not that long ago) until now (at 24), I have watched a lot of The CW. I don’t always give their shows chances, but, I was inclined to watch Riverdale after a friend said he had, and you know what, I really liked season one. I thought season one was an interesting, cool, and vibrant new take on the teen genre that had suffered from paralysis from vampire and super hero fatigue.

Riverdale also came into my life after Pretty Little Liars ended (finally, because I was getting really sick of those twists and turns). With room for a new teen dark drama, I had lots of time for Riverdale. I had also just finished a 6 season binge of Scandal, which was… mostly a waste of time as it progressed. I was ready for something a little light, a little fun, and damn those actors were sizzling.

I went into Riverdale season 1 with no expectations. I didn’t like the pilot, but there weren’t many episodes, and I was between shows, so I continued. Summer hiatus is long and gruelling, so I gave it a chance. Gradually I warmed up to the show. I must admit, it was nice seeing Cole Sprouse back on my TV, having been a pre-teen and kid during the Zach and Cody years – I grew up with him. Although, he seems to be still in high school where I’ve moved on to the working (and university) aspects of my life. You do you, Cole! I liked season one and I found the story arch interesting. Cheryl’s creepy relationship with her brother, the “what the hell is going on with Alice Cooper saga”, I mean it was all great!

I have to admit, when I went into Alex Meyers’ Riverdale is a Mess videos I was still ready to give it a chance. I was giving it a chance because I know that shows can flounder. I’m still obsessed with Quantico despite their own disastrous sophomore season.

That was then… and this is now… After watching the last episode of Riverdale I have come to a (semi) conclusion on Riverdale. I’d rather watch dental surgery videos on Youtube than continue to partake into the blatant mess that Riverdale has become. For those that haven’t watched, and still might, I caution you that spoilers won’t matter. The show becomes so blatantly absurd that you won’t even believe me. There are also so many smaller ridiculous plot points that I could never comment on them all.

Off the top of my head, some of the reasons Riverdale has become a disaster include:

  • Chip. Everything to do with that random psycho. I guess being given up makes you a possible murderer, e-jigglo, druggy, and whatever else. Then, in what I can only hope is a revenge plot (if nothing else?) he’s messing up Alice and Betty’s lives because, y’know, sick revenge.
  • Hal. Is Chip Hal’s son? I hope not because if so, Hal is seriously lacking in the everything department.
  • Hal and Cheryl’s mom. Gross. Hal in general. Stop showing me Hal.
  • The FBI informant fake-out. Um, okay then. Did anybody believe an FBI agent was wearing a fedora? Yes? Okay.
  • The mafia plot. Yeah, the Lodges are such badass New Yorker mafiosos that they moved to… Riverdale… to take over the south side.
  • The black hood is dead, maybe. Or maybe not. Who cares at this point?
  • Everybody is kissing and having sex even when they shouldn’t.
  • Betty going Dark Betty to become an honorary Serpent whilst her mother watches her strip tease… what?
  • Veronica’s parents wanting a strapping young man to protect their daughter (?!)
  • When your boyfriend’s father is bleeding out in a hospital and your boyfriend is washing his blood off, the appropriate course of action is to have shower sex. Yep.
  • Why haven’t Alice and F.P become a thing yet? Hands down the only interesting characters right now:fp and alice riverdale disaster

All of … that… aside, Riverdale wasn’t so bad this season, right? Oh – I forgot that Cheryl’s mother is now a prostitute. Why? She likes it. Riverdale has come so far from a cohesive plot, from any semblance of a story, that I’m not even sure what I’m watching right now. Is this television? Is this a meta-commentary on the sad state of television? Is this just the absolute worst television show sophomore season to ever exist? I don’t know. What I do know is that watching every week has become such a chore that there’s not a lot of reason to continue. But I will. Why? I don’t know, it’ll bug me not to finish.

Maybe it can be saved. Maybe there’s somewhere they can go with this. But, with the parents, kids, mayor, sheriff, and pretty much everybody wrapped into their own conspiracies, I’m not really sure who the voice of reason could be. It’s actually really hard to get me to give up on a TV show. Supernatural pretty much had to spit in my face before I walked away (and I often tentatively consider going back). I just don’t know if I can watch Riverdale if something doesn’t change.

I do think the actors are great. I think they’re wonderful, actually. The characters also have potential. The show itself had potential. The writing? Nope. Solid nope. But hey – they’re boosting the B.C economy – so yay for us Canadians, right?

I really encourage you to watch Alex Meyers’ “Riverdale is a Mess” for a more insightful, and interesting take on this absolute trash:

One thought on “Riverdale Season 2 Is An Unsalvageable Disaster

Leave a Reply